I was in Buenos Aires, the birthplace of Tango, and I had finally reached the place I only saw in my dreams – the Milonga. It was everything I imagined it to be; a hidden entrance, a majestic room, energy, history and passion thick in the air. With all the greatness surrounding me, I took my first step onto the dance floor and… froze. All my insecurities, fears and lack of confidence hit me at once. I had 14 years of experience on the Salsa dance floor, but when it came to the Milonga, I was not ready. The rest of the night was spent observing from as far away from the dance floor as possible. This was hardly the way to spend your first night at a Milonga, however, I did learn quite a bit from just watching. My first and lasting lesson learned that night, was that it did not quite matter how experienced of a dancer you are, but the attitude you give off that makes you a dance magnet.

The only attitude you will need on the dance floor is a confident one. Learning how to be confident without being arrogant will make you an instant dance magnet on any dance floor. To sum up it’s importance, self-confidence makes you more appealing, it reassures others, it gives a great first impression and it’s infectious. So if you feel frustrated on the dance floor, or you feel like you don’t know enough moves to ask someone else to dance, try these five easy tips for improving your confidence the next time you are on the dance floor and see if it works for you.

Body language

To be a dance magnet, try standing close to the edge of the dance floor, with your chest facing the dancers. In addition to where you are standing, try pulling your shoulders back, relaxing your hands and knees, and adding an extra little bop to the music is always quite inviting. The expression on your face should be one of enjoyment and interest, not fear or astonishment. Smile at the dancers, particularly the ones you have interest in dancing with. Make this a friendly and casual smile. This shows that you are easily approachable.

Eye contact
In some cultures, eye contact is all you need to get your partner on the dance floor. In our culture, eye contact makes up for almost 60% of our communications with regards to its role in body language. Through eye contact, you can establish trust, intention, and respect. These are important qualities in a potential dance partner.

Know your strengths
One major attribute of building your confidence is to know what you do well, and do it as often as you can. If your strength is a ‘cross body lead’ then do it with pride. Doing something that we are good at makes us feel better. If you feel better, your dance partner will feel better too. Once you know your strengths, try to minimize your weakness as much as possible, or at least until you make them your strengths.

Watch your tone
The way we talk makes up for 30% of our communication. Asking someone to dance in a nice, friendly tone is better than asking like you are doing them a favour. This is where your confidence may easily get misconstrued as arrogance. Simple, direct and genuine approaches are the best.

Be realistic
If you only find strength in beginner level moves, then be sure to dance with someone at a level that is close to yours. Try to be realistic with your strengths, and if you are not sure, ask an honest friend, or your dance instructor what you are really good at. This will reassure you and shed some light on what you need to strengthen. Another way of being realistic, is to know when to enter into a situation and when not to. If a group of friends is in a private discussion with their backs turned away from the dance floor, this is not a good time to ask for a dance. Being shot down from an obvious outcome is not a confidence booster. Optimize your positive outcomes by acting in a positive environment.

Being a dance magnet starts from within. It may feel like a bit of work at first, but I’m a strong believer that this work will pay off as your confidence improves. Putting these concepts into practice just take a little focus and a little faith. Working on your self-confidence will not only help you on the dance floor, but the journey will be rewarding in all aspects of your life.